It still hurts.
Deep down, I know it is there.
The hardest goodbye I've ever said.
Back in September, when I just returned from holidays,
I thought life is just going to continue and be more challenging.
I thought, life goes on, with all the projects at work and part-time.
But something really really bad happened, and it happened so quickly.
Death came.
I hadn't had enough time to prepare myself for this.
I guess no one had that time.
It did break my heart, for I love her so much.
Happy, the cutest one-eyed dog.
A companion, a friend, a family member.
The hardest goodbye, ever.
She came in like a wrecking ball, back in 2013 probably.
So young and furry
Slim and fear of almost everything.
But she is so cute, right?
Although she has only one eye, but she sees everything.
I was 22 years old. She was 4 human years old?
So cute.
I think Happy likes us very much.
Once we visited sis and her, she was so happy.
We put her in a container to drive her around before big tragedy happens.
Ever since then, she was back and stay with us in Penang.
Every day, we spent time together.
Sis did a special shaving for her.
Hmm.
She is not a brave fur kids.
She scares of thunder and firecrackers.
Any loud sound can trigger her to hide herself.
Innocent coned look.
Even after we moved to a new place, she was always there.
Welcoming us at the entrance.
I love to come home with her waiting right there.
I took her photos almost every week.
Every posture and patterns.
One day hiking at the dam side.
Still a slim dog huh.
Guarding the door and rooms.
Waiting for us, and we bring her for pee and walk.
My fashion and photography model.
Not even sure she likes it or not.
Boring days...
Never say no to food.
Sleeping on mat keeps her warm.
Love travelling on the bike too.
Such a manja fur kids.
Guess what, mum always talk to her.
She fed her the most!
Heading out to peee~~~
When she comes home, she loves to peep.
Quite smart actually.
Lazy mode on.
I love this posture.
But she is not a good jogger.
She gets tired easily.
So we never really jog ever since.
A playful dog who likes to play around on my raincoat.
I miss that whenever I fold my raincoat nowadays.
Her personal seat.
Hiding in one of her favourite corners.
Oh, she doesn't like to shower.
But it is always a must.
Nope, not a toy fans.
I made her hold that pillow.
We bought her clothes,
but soon all became tight.
Boring moments.
Sleeping next to me at night.
Another hiking experience.
I think she just not so happy afterall.
Manja fur kids.
Eating the way she likes.
I called her luggage dog for hopping into the luggage bag.
They think I was crazy.
I was just having fun.
Nope, shaving time is not fun.
Again, I always play around with her, made her does all these stupid things.
After shower look, haha!
Guarding the door~
She is just too cute.
No durian, but a lot of sleeping on the couch.
Made use of my broken luggage,
her personal bedding.
But she loves the couch more.
'
But sometimes she just loves the bed too.
When there's food, this is her face.
Recorded most of her habits.
Petting time is her favourite~
We even changed the government together, yay!
But time was limited for us.
I think it is not enough.
God took her away from us.
To lessen her pain.
Miss her everywhere.
Her existence changed our life.
I always think that she is here to teach us something.
Right, Happy?
She made my life so much better.
She is an angel.
I believe she will be somewhere better.
Somewhere with no pain, and lots of snacks.
I am sorry I came home late this time around.
She must be waiting for me so patiently...
To say one last good bye.
I cried so hard.
She is a family member.
She could live longer.
But she is so sick inside.
She couldn't tell us.
For 6 years she was with us, I hope she loves the life we gave her.
We always joke about her death,
how we would respond to it.
But I guess I know now.
It sucks cause every corner I go, I see her.
She was everywhere in the house.
Whatever I do, I think of her.
Maybe someday I will forget about the details,
but she will always be in my heart.
Fat 7kg fur kids.
Hiding all the time.
Being lazy and naughty.
Playful and get bullied by me.
Life is definitely going to change for me.
It was terrible for the first week, I swear.
I cried every time I think about it.
Mum must be feeling bad as well as she is mum's companion in the afternoon.
Just there, watching after while mum is making curryppuffs.
But I don't know who would suffer more.
She has always been there for us.
Mum sometimes talks to her, and always greet her before us.
Such a huge impact on the three of us.
6 years, thank you for the best 6 years.
I love you 3000 and more.
Made me laugh and relax after work.
Help me to release stress and brighten my up gloomy days.
Lay with me.
Be my model and playmate.
Mum's little baby.
More laying and hugging.
Best model!
Unconditional love, she gave us.
I m very sure we fed her well.
Happy oh Happy.
My last photo of her when she was still alive, but weak.
I bought her so many packs of treats,
I thought she will get better to eat all.
I was so wrong.
In two days after my return,
she was gone....
No more suffer.
My last hug.
It was too late for me to say last last goodbye.
Everything happened too fast.
None of us was ready for that.
Death is a lesson to learn.
And she gave us that lesson.
I wasn't able to take it, but eventually, life goes on.
We gave her her favourite snacks and clothes.
With all the love I have and blessings,
we sent her off to the dogs heaven.
So long, my cutest companion.
May you rest in peace.
I will always miss you.
I hadn't had enough time to feel sad or to mourn.
Life has been cruel to me.
I was so busy at work and even after working time.
Not even allowed to feel sad.
I am not sure a busy life is helping or not.
But one thing is sure.
Life is never predictable.
2019 is almost perfect,
once I thought.